I Lay Alone…


I lay alone
Cardboard beneath me
Soggy from rain
Maybe I should leave

I saved my pages
I’ll always have my art
Not taken from me
Even as my world rots

I always have my pen
I’ll steal them if I must
Never get wet
Or alone I will rust

My eyes grow so weary
My hearts given up
Wake from this nightmare
My mind won’t stop



Posted by on July 20, 2010 in Uncategorized


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Poet Award!


Thanx Jingles!

Every time my cell phone rings
An email, text or call
Reunited with the feelings
That I haven’t lost it all

Every time my cell phone beeps
Your texting me again
I realize your in the past
It’s probably just my friend

Why do I crave you in this way
When your not that good for me
Why do I wait by the phone
The darkness I can’t see



Posted by on July 19, 2010 in Uncategorized


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If I close my eyes real tight…

Thank you for the inspiration.

If I close my eyes real tight
I’ll see you once again
Faint smells in crowded rooms
Only finding where you’ve been

Sometimes I sense you staring
I turn quickly to find your face
But when I focus on you
Someones standing in your place

Maybe when I stop searching
You’ll find me here instead
You’ll miss that I stopped looking
You’ll miss me in your head

Maybe when that happens
We’ll once again unite
Spending days missing you
Wanting something new to write.



Posted by on July 19, 2010 in Uncategorized


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As I Walk Through The Park…

As I walk through the park
On this bright sunny day
I’m a little bit tired
So I lay in the shade

As I fall asleep
A somber so calm
I finally feel safe
Alone in your arms.



Posted by on July 19, 2010 in Uncategorized


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Straight from the heart…

Whether this turns out to be a drunk girls ramblings or some great poem… so it will be…

You have the nerve to judge me
I went out to be alone
To be the person I used to be
Before I felt at home

I wouldnt be abusing me
If I didn’t feel so low
I only feel this way because
You leave me all alone

Did you seriously expect
For me not to fall in love
With the kids you left me with
You stupid son of a bitch

Keep in mind I know that it
Didn’t rhyme at all
I lay here in my bed
So far past the fall

You make me feel like shit
My dogs in love with you
Well she’s not the only one
But I’m not the one to chose

I want to tell you off
your not the one for me
But then I would be blind
the future I can’t see

You ass
You will break my heart
Problem is…
It will some how
Be only my fault!

You don’t deserve to be cherished by me!


Posted by on July 17, 2010 in Uncategorized


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At 1am…

At 1 am I think of you
Your with me in my dreams
At 5 am I think of you
I’m quickly losing sleep

At 12 pm I yearn for you
To hold you in my arms
At 5pm I run to you
Turning on your charms

At 7 pm I lay with you
We watch a show or two
At 10 pm I lie with you
Your loving arms so new

At 11 pm I fall asleep
I feel so safe and warm
At any time of day
I realize I’m home.



Posted by on July 16, 2010 in Uncategorized


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Treasure… (

When I think about
Things lost and found
The worst thing to lose
Is physically bound

My heart, it broke
Was cracked in two
Then things changed
When I met you

You took my heart
You showed me worlds
Told me tales
It all unfolds

I went to hug you
You were just a ghost
There to break my heart
I loved you most

My heart more broken
Then I’ve ever felt before
My love is the hallway
My heart is the door

And then I met him
I told myself I would win
He told me he loved me
He said with a grin

I sat and I realized
He’s still not you
Even more broken
Only you are the glue

I hope someday I find
I can’t believe I lost
I believe our paths
Will once again cross

I hope someday you find
A road map to my soul
For a life without you
isn’t worth living at all.



Posted by on July 15, 2010 in Uncategorized


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I Never Gave Up On You…

I never gave up on you
I always believed
My angel would realize
He was sent for me


Posted by on July 14, 2010 in Uncategorized


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Charlie (My 1st Short Story)

So my roomie mentioned me helping him write a book, which of course inspired me to write a short story… Guess it’s how my brain works 🙂


“Hi, my name is Charlie. I’m a recovering alcoholic.”

“Hi Charlie!”

“And I’ve been sober for two months.”

Ok, I should probably start by saying, no my name is not Charlie. It’s Charles. I hate Charles and I hate my parents for naming me Charles. I can’t blame them for not being smart enough to figure out that Charles equals nicknames like Chuck or Up-Chuck. Needless to say, elementary school wasn’t the greatest experience for me.

I should probably also mention, although I am a recovering alcoholic, I am not standing in front of an AA meeting. I don’t think I need a group of people shouting my name to make me stop drinking. I don’t like people much anyway. It’s better this way. I won’t have to go out, waste gas, pass 10 bars to get to an AA meeting full of people I can’t stand, that are all feel-sorry-for-me type of assholes that not only want to feel sorry for themselves, but also sorry for each other.

I recently gave “dating” a try again. I joined one of those, I promise I’m not pathetic or looking for just a good lay, type of online dating sites. I don’t have much money so I joined a free one. After the first date with a girl who looked nothing like her profile picture, and not in a good way, I decided that I would need to date many more to find true love. Ok, I don’t care much for love. I don’t understand it. I don’t really want it, but all the other idiots in my life seem happy with it and are constantly bringing me down, well further down, for not having it.

Each date was worse then the last. From bad breath to bad hair, I’m not perfect in the least, but really? Do you give so little of a shit about yourself, that you don’t even brush your teeth before you go on this date with the potential man of your dreams?

I believe we are getting a bit off topic, but I would like to just say that my left hand and even sometimes my right make a way better date then anyone I met in the 2 months I tried the “love thing” on for size. My hands don’t nag me for not doing the laundry, for not doing the dishes, and they certainly don’t care if I vacuum. Now I can imagine that you are thinking really shitty thoughts about me right now. You are thinking this person is a psychological freak of nature who hates all people, places and things. You may be on to something.

So about this alcoholic thing, which all began with a dating website, when asked, “Do you drink?” Do you know what the responses are? Never (0 drinks), socially (1-3 drinks a week) or frequently (3 or more drinks a week). So basically after an entire adulthood I have come to the realization that if I lie on the dating site, just as I lie to my doctor, then I’m admitting that I have a problem and if I tell the truth on the dating site, then I’m admitting to the world that I have a problem. I decided to lie about that. I also lied about a few other little details. I wonder if I also look nothing like my profile picture, and not in a good way.

So after the last date, with the last girl, and no I didn’t kill her and bury her in the backyard. I know it’s what you’re thinking. I decided I needed to fix this drinking problem. A beer a night is apparently a drinking problem now. First you should drink a glass of wine a day, then not so much wine a day. Then eat eggs, don’t eat eggs, how about eat the white part of the egg, but not the yellow part of the egg. Is there some guy doing studies out there, laughing his ass off at fools like me that actually try to keep track of all the ways to live a long and healthy, oh and don’t forget happy life?

On the note of happy life, there is no way that praying to a fat Asian dude is going to make me happy and in tune with my inner smile. I’m just not that guy. Life threw me a lot of stones, actually life aimed right for my forehead when throwing those stones, which I think is just rude. Or is it just karma? Did I really piss some god up there off so bad that he has spent the past 35 years, personally screwing up the one chance I have at breathing and eating and sleeping my life away. Why is it so important for me to be happy? Am I really hurting the ones around me? Well that just can’t be, because no one comes around me.

I believe we are off topic again. Let’s get back to my raging-one-beer-a-day alcoholism. I wonder if I actually showed up to an AA meeting if they would turn me away. I could think of many reasons why a group of people may ask me to leave. Maybe they would turn me away because I don’t think I’m an alcoholic. Maybe because I hate all of them and wish they would walk one by one in front of a train for judging me. Don’t even get me started about those phony smiles. Maybe they would kick me out because I’m really not an alcoholic or because my negativity would just make those around me want to drink. I wonder if they have free snacks and coffee in the back of the room, just like in the movies.

You know… I think I’m going to go crack open a beer, grab a movie, watch some porn and go on the best date of my life. Hello lefty (sometimes I like nicknames).

1 Comment

Posted by on July 14, 2010 in Uncategorized


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Like A Strong Cup Of Coffee…

Like a strong cup of coffee
You wake up my heart
Our life is our canvas
Our love is our art.



Posted by on July 13, 2010 in Uncategorized


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